Fibromyalgia & the Giant Slurpee of Compassion

Today was my second attempt at making a presentation on Mindfulness to a group of fibromyalgia patients.  It's not actually the easiest project in the world, talking with people who are in intense pain about how they could improve their relationship with suffering, especially if they've traveled far & come to sit in stiff conference room chairs on a beautiful afternoon in June.  Still, it's definitely worth trying, and I'm getting better at it.    

If undertaken consistently over a period of time, with good support – simple mindfulness practice can help with the chronic pain of fibromyalgia.  This help is different from the assistance pain medication can offer, because it employs your own resources of body, heart, breath, and mind to work directly with your felt experience of pain, your relationship with pain, rather than focusing on eradicating the physical symptoms themselves.  The cultivation of mindfulness attunes you to what is strong, sane, compassionate and wise within yourself, no matter how difficult your situation may seem.  Mindfulness practice can help you grow in a sense of your own resilience in the face of pain.  As you become more familiar with your own embodied sense of well-being, and as you cultivate your ability to bring that well-being to the forefront, it is as though the container of your awareness grows larger.  

In a worst-case scenario (and we have ALL been there), your pain feels as big as your whole awareness.  You perceive your awareness to be the size of a thimble, and the pain is a jagged stone that fills it completely, dislodging all the clear water.  You feel overwhelmed, and it is impossible to imagine the pain shifting in any way.  It is all that you can think about.  You feel imprisoned and helpless.

After some time of regular practice with your breath, heart, body, and mind, let’s say now you perceive your awareness to be the size of a water glass.  The pain is still the same jagged stone, but now – thanks to the larger glass – there is clear water around it.  You’re not overwhelmed anymore – the extra space means you can observe and feel into the pain, or choose to focus on the un-painful parts of your experience.

With more experience, the container of your awareness continues to grow larger.  Now it's the size of an ocean.  When pain arises, you can receive it with compassion: This is what pain is like.  People everywhere are experiencing pain.  May I and all beings be free from pain.  Your suffering feels less like a personal affront and more a part of the whole picture of being human.  You are more and more aware of the parts of your experience that feel relaxed and open, and so the pain – while sometimes still intense – occurs against a backdrop of feeling basically OK in yourself and in the world. 

The Giant Slurpee of Compassion.

 [True confession: no Giant Slurpee of Compassion was deployed in the making of this presentation.  Still, I am a big fan of architectural-scale junk food, and the point about the container still stands.]

Exercises:

1.      Moment to Moment Awareness Dialogue – Work with a partner, sitting face to face.  Spend 5 minutes speaking what arises for you in feeling, emotion, smell, taste, touch, and thought, while your partner listens attentively without speaking.  There’s no need to edit yourself in any way.  Then, change roles – you listen for 5 minutes while she or he speaks.  What is it like to be really heard?  What is it like to really listen?

2.     Being with Body, Heart, Breath & Mind – Choose a safe, quiet space, and either sit, stand, or lay down, depending on what feels most sustainable for your body in that moment.  Use any cushions or props that help you feel at ease.  Bring to mind the intention to rest in your experience for 5 minutes without needing to fix, change, improve, or resist anything.  Each time those impulses arise, just let them go without judgment.  Let your breath deepen and relax.  Practice like this several times a day. 

3.     Guided Meditation – If you like, you can try longer periods of meditation with a guided teaching to help focus your attention.  There’s one available to you, free, here.

4.     Walking Meditation – Choose a path of about 20 steps – either indoors or outdoors.   Walk coordinating your breath and movement, and feeling into the sensations in your body.  When you reach the end of the path, stop, notice the ending, and turn around.  Do this for about 15 minutes a day.  

5.     Keep going!  It helps a lot to have a friend, group, and/or teacher for support.