Hail, adorable denizens of the psychedelic session room! Little golden bullshit-slicer, many-hands compassion person, eagle-headed buffalo, truly, you are beautiful.
Today was: 2 rounds of dosing - 1st round placebo, 2nd one definitely not. 2 rounds of fMRI. 2 car trips through destroyed sections of Baltimore. Scattered, distracted mind, centered mind. Some crucifixion and dismemberment between friends, some sci-fi activity inside the big magnet, some realization of the ways I flinch from incarnating fully, and then, blessedly, a return to ground. It'll take me a little while to find narrative for all that, so in the meantime, I'll say thank you, to all those who've had a hand in teaching me to work with the nature of mind. Thank you, to my brother, for ferrying me back and forth to the session room, and putting up with the social oddities the situation. Thank you to my sister-in-law, for preparing tomato soup & grilled cheese to ease my hunger. Thank you to Theresa, for giving me her Avalokiteshvara, and to the whole JHMI crew, for doing such important work so beautifully.
Julie Püttgen is an artist, expressive arts therapist, and meditation teacher.
108 Names of Now